Last night I dreamt of the apocalypse.

I'd just come from church for some reason. I'm not sure why I'd gone into the church, but it was the weirdest service I'd ever been too. Everybody was there. It was a packed house. Rich people, poor people, criminals, middle class folk. It was all people who didn't normally go to church. I looked into the coat room as I walked in, and some guy was snorting cocaine on this little counter top. Right in a church. I was like, what the hell? I've never see that.

I sat in a pew, and looked up. There was no minister. They were just playing a movie of an old church service on the screen. Some little old lady was playing a hymn on an organ, and the minister was applauding her. She seemed happy. But the audience was restless, not really paying attention, not sitting down, just kind of wandering around, talking to everybody.

And then I saw a woman I used to know, someone I worked with years ago. I went to sit down next to her, and she sort of jumped on my lap and hugged me, saying she was so glad to see me. I wasn't sure if she was sad, or drunk, or terrified, or just lonely, but she whispered in my ear, offering me sex, saying she's always wanted me, ever since she'd known me. I sort of pushed her off my lap, thinking this was hardly the place for that kind of cheap pick-up. And then I got up and walked out. There wasn't really a church service going on anyway, I don't even think it was Sunday.

And then for some reason, I was in a car with this old lady. I don't even know who it was, or why I was with her. She was old like my grandma Connie, but it wasn't her. We were driving down the street. She was driving too slow because she was kind of lost. I don't think I was in Baltimore I was on a large street, almost the size of highway with several lanes. But they all seemed to be deserted, like very early on a Sunday morning. I'm not sure if it was early in the morning or near sunset, but the sun was low in the sky. I think it was late in the day. The streets were mostly clear though.

The lady pulled over and for some reason she got out of the car. I think she was going to ask somebody for directions. I looked at the GPS thing she had on her dashboard, and suddenly the direction went all fuzzy and scrambled, like the satellite was confused, or just no longer there. And then the whole sky got this weird greenish tint to it for about ten seconds. It basically turned green instead of blue, but only for a moment, and then it was back to normal. Everybody stopped and looked up.

I was still in the car, but I leaned forward and looked out the window. The sun was over in the west, low in the sky. And I saw what looked like a second moon fly over the sky in a direction that was diagonal to the sun's normal path. It was huge. And my stomach got queasy for a moment. It made your stomach sick because it was so big, it actually pulled on you with its own gravity, like the moon pulls on the tides, but much bigger, and everything inside you just got tugged around.

But it went straight across the sky, without hitting. When I realized how close it was, though, I knew it was gonna hit somewhere, probably on the other side of the world. The gravity of the earth pulled it in, and it sling-shotted around to the other side somewhere. I jumped out of the car and grabbed the old lady's arm.

"Come on! We have to find shelter! It's gonna hit!"

We just abandoned the car in the street, and I dragged her toward a nearby fire station, or police office, or whatever it was. I'm not sure which it was, but there were large utility trucks, with lifts on them. It was also deserted for some reason, except for two guys loading one of the trucks. We banged on the doors, but it was locked up. We ran from door to door trying to get in, but everything was locked.

And then I felt a great rumble under my feet. It nearly knocked me down. I've never been in an earthquake, so I don't know what it's like, but it felt like the entire planet shivered. Car alarms started going off in every direction and I heard a weird sound like gravel tumbling down a hillside, except there were no hills. I think it was pieces falling off houses in all directions. We were able to stay on our feet though.

A few moments later, the sky in the north went dark. If I assume the sun was setting in the west, and the meteor or asteroid or whatever flew over the sky in a north-west to south-east direction, then it was north the black came from. And I mean the entire sky. Like a wall of blackness, smoke and ash suddenly filling the view from the ground to the upper atmosphere, from west to east as far as you could see, in one huge wall of black cloud. And it was coming toward us. Well, sort of going towards everyone, everywhere, I guess. It came over the horizon like an charging army, fast and steady, advancing.

"It hit on the other side of the world somewhere! Come on! we have to get indoors! We won't be able to breathe!"

The air started turning yellow. Ash started raining down, and bits of rock and debris from the blast, where ever it hit. I took a deep breath and held it as I was running. I could already smell a weird burning rock smell, like sulphur, like burnt matches, but more metallic.

Me and the lady finally got into some doors, but it was just a little foyer. We ran in and shut the doors behind us. The inside doors were locked. But it was somewhere to hide. There was a fire alarm. I pulled it, not really knowing why I was bothering. But I was sort of in a panic and not thinking straight. The sign said, In Case of Emergency, so I pulled it. The alarm went off, and we looked out the window. The yellow air turned brown, and then dark red. Then everything went black. The black cloud fell over the whole sky with a clattering rumble that sounded like it was raining gravel instead of water. And all light went out of the world.

The world as we knew it was over. Even if we survived, life as we know it would never be the same. We'd be set back 10,000 years, reduced to hunter gatherers again, living out of caves. If we survived the impact that is. I honestly don't think anybody would have survived the shockwave. Something with that much gravity hitting the earth would pretty much end the story for everybody.

Of course, that's when I woke up.

These feelings inside of me are so vein,
But what you see seems so plain.
Forgive me for not being so open,
As you may know I am already broken.
So look into my eyes and if you can see the passed,
You will surely know we will never last.
Not because of normal things like family or bills,
But because I'd like to drown myself with all these pretty pills.

There's a crawling in my skin,
That causes me to sin,
And though I may look sweet,
I will certainly bring you defeat.
Please give me some of your Heroin
So I can feel free and bare myself again.

RIP Jaime

On falling in love with strangers

I become aware of you,
standing next to me on the street corner,
and I become aware
of my own breath.

It's forty degrees out
and you're wearing a t-shirt
and I am the one
out of place.

You light a cigarette. Self-destruction,
but the delicious kind. The only
kind.
Barely there bite marks
and dark under-eye circles.

I've known you for a grand total
of thirty-six seconds
but I want to write you a letter
(do people still do that?)
of words I don't know yet. I feel like
I’ve seen you before,
but in a passing car
or a barely lit window
at dusk. Caught
in a moment of humanity.

I close my eyes and I can see us,
together,
laying on cold ground:
nearly dead
but never feeling more alive,
watching vultures
circle above us
before they move on,
in search of something better,
fresher.

Our eyes meet,
streetlamps flicker,
and your lips part,
smoke rolling out
like a beckoning finger:

"Come,
have a taste
of my
mortality."

I wrote this about a cab driver I met once.

Being drunk enhances the chances
That I’ll ask you uncomfortable questions
To make you squirm a little bit
But I can’t make this man squirm
This man tells me he’s been driving his cab
For longer than I’ve been alive
The streets of this city
Are so familiar to him
That he can navigate through it at night
Using only half of one headlight
And I know he can, because he’s doing it
And he’s talking to me while he’s doing it
Every slurred question I ask
Is responded to
With skillful oration
That’s nearly matched by his driving
What is life all about?
I ask
Because I know
When I ask that
People roll their eyes
And tell me to shut up
You’re drunk!
Not this man
Even the pause he gave
Before answering
Was executed with grace
And he said
Life is like this road, my friend
Sometimes it turns left
Sometimes it turns right
But you just go with it
You drive where the road is
And that is all

Deep.

I stare longingly into her eyes
But she says nothing back
Because she is a pizza
Those are pepperonis

Little memories

I was sitting outside,

smoking a cigarette
with three of my favorite pals,

and I looked at each one of them,

and I told them,

"I love how,

right now,

we're happy.

And how,

when I look in each of your eyes,

I can see the smile that isn't even on your face,"

and then we smiled,

and I went back inside.