forever

i'm afraid of losing you forever
so i stay quiet, shut my mouth
get on with things
but maybe it'd be better
if the words were said,
questions asked,
feelings felt and dealt with
so that, even if i lose you
at least i'll know i tried.
i'm afraid of losing you forever
but night will turn to day
frost will melt away
and i'll learn to stop loving you
and i'll learn how to see
my own reflection in the glass
instead of your fingerprints
smudged across the
surface.
i'll learn to bask in sunlight
and read books by ponds
and watch the sun sink
behind pink clouds
and i'll do it all alone,
and i'll be okay with that.
i'm afraid of losing you forever
but even more so,
i'm afraid of losing myself
to a love that maybe
isn't worth fighting for.
i'm afraid of losing me forever.