it's nights like these that i miss you,

i miss you more than i've missed anyone.

against all odds and against what fate had in store,

you walked into my life and flipped around my insides.

[at least that's what it feels like when i hear your name.]



it's nights like these that i love you,

i love you more than i ever, ever should.

against my own good sense and against your wishes,

i will carry a piece of you with me, tangled in my insides.

[at least that's what it feels like when i see your face.]



you're the only one i can converse with in other's words,

words like, "if i could i would shrink myself and sink 

through your skin to your blood cells and remove 

whatever makes you hurt but i am too weak 

to be your cure."



words like, "you are the smell after the sunflower blossoms, 

as bright as the yellow leaves while they bath in the sun. 

call me a safe bet. i'm betting i'm not. 

i'm glad that you can forgive. i'm only hoping....

as time goes, you can forget."



these words i could never say on my own,

so i'll rip my heart out and hand it over,

on a silver platter ringed with the dead sunflowers,

still pumping, beating, strong as can be.



and i might be nothing you want anymore,

and that's okay, because i don't want me either.

i'll find someone, someday, but they won't be you.

this is everything i never had the heart to say.



because it wouldn't have changed anything,

it was always the wrong situation, the wrong time,

the wrong girl. always.



but i loved you, i loved you.

i could never bring myself to hurt you,

but what's done is done and i can't take it back.

and i'm sorry, i'm so sorry, and this is everything,

everything i've held inside, wrapped up.



i've always had the worst timing.

i'm constantly a walking catastrophe.

but i'd clean up my act for you, 

and it'd feel good doing it.